


the first time and all the times after

by Dienael



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Death, M/M, evan is a gryffindor, everything is a little bit sour and a little bit sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 18:18:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12393534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dienael/pseuds/Dienael
Summary: The first time, he thinks it's a mistake or a joke. He hears the voice but doesn't understand it. Gryffindor, it says. Gryffindor, it repeats when he doesn't move, Gryffindor, it finally screams and everyone scream along. The eyes lost somewhere in the crowd, he blinks. At the Slytherin's table, Regulus blinks in answer. Evan smiles. The cheers from the Gryffindor's have never been louder.





	the first time and all the times after

**Author's Note:**

> It's a little thing that has been sitting in my draft for forever but I love this ship way too much to not post it. Fair warning, english is not my mother tongue so it might be a little shaky.   
> If you want to talk about Evan Rosier, Regulus Black or anything else, you can find me @ glkprminyard.tumblr.com !

The first time, he thinks it's a mistake or a joke. He hears the voice but doesn't understand it. Gryffindor, it says. Gryffindor, it repeats when he doesn't move, Gryffindor, it finally screams and everyone scream along. The eyes lost somewhere in the crowd, he blinks. At the Slytherin's table, Regulus blinks in answer. Evan smiles. The cheers from the Gryffindor's have never been louder.

The second time, he thinks it's a tease. It's everywhere in Regulus' mouth and it sounds like a laugh at his face. You're so Gryffindor, he says, so stern and so calm despite the summer heat. Evan blinks. Regulus smiles. He wonders if Regulus knows how much his face is ridiculous when he smiles. He thinks about telling him and chooses not to, in the end, because Regulus' smiles are a rare kind of smiles. You're a freaking snake, he says, and his friend laughs so hard he falls from his chair.

The third time, he thinks that there may be a pattern. It's not a joke, not this time, it's anger and bitterness and he bites his smile. Go fuck yourself with your lion friends spits Regulus at his face and he is like the ocean, dangerous and fascinating, beautiful and terrible at the same time. He doesn't really think about what happens next, Regulus' mouth against his and the heat and the humidity and the laugh that bursts and turns everything in a joke, the kiss, the anger, and Regulus' body in his arm. Beware the predator, he hums, they bit back. Regulus storms out.

The fourth time, sentiments are involved. There is a hint of fondness in Regulus' voice, a smudge of love in Evan's eyes, something that can't be described. Your Gryffindorness is impossible is what Regulus actually says but it means I love you, I hate you, I've known you for too long, I haven't thought I would fall for you. Evan hasn't thought as well. He remembers the first time he saw him, the softness on his face and the hardness in his eyes. He remembers their mothers talking about useless things and the muteness of the other kid, how much he was disappointed to see that it was that the Black heir, that silent kid with fire in his eyes, how much he was surprised by the life in his voice when their mothers finally left them alone. There wasn't much room for him to fall in love with that kid but he has managed to do it anyway. Maybe it's not the best choice he has made, maybe he doesn't care because Regulus takes his hand and kisses him and he doesn't really think anymore.

The fifth time, he is broken-hearted. There wasn't much room to fall in love to begin with but there isn't much more to be in love after that and he feels angry at the thought. He is wild, he is untamed and egoist and pretentious and possessive, he is not good but he isn't bad either, just that kind of neutral that makes him want to scream. In front of him, Regulus is silent and his eyes seems unfocused, lost on something he can't see. He loves him. He loves him and he hates his name and his heir duty, the wedding that he has to plan even though he doesn't want it. You're a lion, Regulus whispers in the secret of the bed they share that night. So brave, so fierce, so alive. You can't understand. Evan doesn't understand why Regulus doesn't run away it's true but he understands why he shakes when his hands reach to touch him in the silence of the room.

The sixth time hold no importance because Regulus doesn't say it. It's Lord Voldemort who utters the word when he carves his mark on his arm, the same one painted on a skin he knows by heart, the same one he kissed when nightmares woke up Regulus in the middle of the night. He is a weapon. He is a traitor. He has no conviction, no duty, no obligation but there he is, in front of the Dark Lord, on his knees. He is in love, it's the only truth, and the horror on Regulus' face when their eyes meet makes his heart stop. It feels like he isn't the only one eaten alive by anxiety, in the end.

The seventh time they are in their Death Eater outfit and they have blood on their hands. They don't talk about it.

Evan is asleep the eight time, eyes shut and a war in his head. There is blood, too much blood and none of it is his. Regulus' corpse lies in the shadow. You're alive because you're so coward for a Gryffindor spits out his ghost. Evan doesn't answer, he blinks. Nothing matters anymore.


End file.
